


A Wild Game Of Survival

by Whatafuckingdumbass



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: Angst, Dark, Dark Loki (Marvel), Enemies to Friends, F/M, First Post, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Human Loki, I Don't Even Know, I REGRET NOTHING, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Immortal, Kind of dark, Loki is a bit happy, M/M, Not too much, Reader-Insert, Some Humor, Soulmates, alternative universe, because Loki is a bit of a dick, but enchanted, but enough, don't blame me, for some chapters, let me live, let writer live, loki is kind of an asshole, some hate on sex workers, some violence, still some magic, then he gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26620120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whatafuckingdumbass/pseuds/Whatafuckingdumbass
Summary: Everyone gets to age with their soulmates. I just had to be unlucky
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Loki/Sigyn (Norse Religion & Lore)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Let There Be Light

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Violence. And Loki's a cunt. You'll see those a lot.  
> This is not my first fanfic I write but the first I post. I hope you like it.

Everyone is meant to age with their soulmate. I happened to be unlucky.

I have been trapped in my eighteen years old body for almost five years, but I still waited for them. Then, I found him.

But it was not like I hoped.

I was walking out of a club, drunk and alone instead of being with my also drunk soulmate, or someone who wants to have a one night stand. When I turned on an alley for a shortcut, I felt something lurking in the dark.

I was not unprepared, I had taken self defense courses. So, when the dark dressed man attacked me, I punched back. Instead of getting hurt, he smiled, not even moved. 

"What are you?" I asked, fear overcoming me.

"Don't you recognise me, my love. I'm your other half," His voice danced in the darkness, British and charming but empty, as his glowing green eyes stared at me. 

"And you decided to attack instead of buy me a drink like a proper gentleman?" I raised my eyebrows. He chuckled, a laugh empty of emotions, capable to make the most stoic person on earth feel their skin crawling.

"I just want you to know that your death came from the Son of Laufey," His voice echoed again and he grabbed me by the back. No matter how I fought, he was too strong. Then, I felt a sharp dagger in my throat, opening a wound.

I screamed, and the oddest thing happened.

A pure white light came out of me, slamming him down and healing my neck. I ran, listening to his voice mumbling something last, his accent changing into something that reminded me of German.

"Impossible," 

I gathered everything I had and went to the first motel room, after I emptied my bank account and deleted it. Next day, my name would also change and my phone number would disappear. 

After I was sure I was hidden, I visited a public library to use a computer. And I googled the one word I thought it would give me the information I needed about this soulmate. Laufey.

I found myths from Scandinavia. It was easy to find the name of the attacker, Loki. A man, enchanted by birth, strong enough to be believed as the God of Mischief. This explained why I could not fight back. The list of his powers was long, including magic, mind control and illusions, but he had weaknesses as well. Known for ambitions, limits on his power and weakness towards the magics of light, as well as human weaknesses from time to time. 

The most noticeable thing was the date of his birth. December 21th, Capricorn. Year of birth, 965 A.D. Was he immortal? No. How he lived so long? By murdering his soulmates. And I am next in his list.

I then searched about this light. Its name is Lightforce. Can be used aggressively but it's mostly used for healing. Only weakness is Darkforce and users are vulnerable during usage. But I could still train, be strong enough to survive. Loki met me and I survived. Our clocks had begun ticking. He is mortal and will be for as long as I breathe.

He can die. And I prefer waiting for eighteen more years and be with his regeneration rather than getting killed by the psychopath, if my plan on avoiding him and waiting until we both die of old age fails.

Training would not be hard, not when you are already strong enough to survive an attack of a thousand years old god-man. Maybe a few months of physical exercise and practice on my Lightforce and I would be ready to make reality my plan; avoid Loki at all cost and age. If Loki attacks again, light up his insides.

It would cost me my life, but I didn't want to die for his hands.


	2. Out Of The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tables turn, again and again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Violence, Loki's still a cunt, the Reader is also cuntish, gambling, caps, cursing, plauges (this is a trigger after this year). So, since you got that far, skip them? Or quit it? But take care of yourself and drink your water or Cunt!Loki will come to you and be... a cunt

Living on the run for almost a year was hard. I soonly ran low on money, so I had to cheat on cards and on my soulmate to make sure I have enough cash to eat the next day. Training was a daily duty, both physical and magical. Paranoia became my new and only friend, I never stayed somewhere for too long, used the same name, the same car or the same phone. Everything was changing at random times, getting a program would make it easier to track, as well as having the same identity. New hair and preferences every now and then, so even tracking those would be a dead end. It was not a happy life, but I never met him again. The lines appearing in my face indicate that he still lives and that he ages as well.

The one thing I know, when we meet again, he will be pissed.

I was right.

This time, he found my room. The moment I heard his feet near my bed, I kicked him in the balls before slamming his head. I had maybe a minute to tie him, making sure we would talk.

I finished on time, two painted eye contacts blocking his vision and one professional earbud stopping him from hearing the source of a sound when he woke up.

"I have heard about serial killers but, oh boy," My voice was calm, drained. Empty of emotions since I left my life.

Anger was visible in his face, making the one year of aging visible, as well as at least a decade, probably from before he started the murders.

"Release me right now!" He yelled, trying to move from the chair. His problem was, I could find things that can contain his magic, named seiðr. 

"You see, Loki, I am not a little village girl you can terrorise with your title. Times change," I remained calm, sarcasm visible in my tone. He scoffed, looking around.

"You know my name. Congratulations. I would give you a cake, if you DIDN'T TIE ME IN A CHAIR, YOU BITCH!" He yelled again, his patience running low. 

"Jeez. You really need to take some anger management courses. At your age, getting upset is dangerous." I played worried. I started scanning his face, trying to find as many leads as I can.

"And you really seemed to age since I last saw you. Of course, I didn't take a good look, you can really hide your face. Not a good year for you, huh? And, you obviously lived for some time with a soulmate, you look at least twenty eight." I started mocking.

"If you want to have a talk, let me see at least," He bargained, but I tutted him.

"And let you know where I am? You really think I am that stupid?" He nodded a yes at my question, but I noticed a scar on his cheek.

"Did you have a hard puberty or you got the smallpox back then?" I asked, my eyes on his scars. He scoffed again.

"Why do you care?" He asked, voice serious.

"Because, it means that you can get infected. And, judging by your age and how sanitized you are, I can guess that those pretty pretty green eyes have seen some plagues," I answered. He didn't say something, his, quite beautiful for a killer, face neutral. It meant I could keep talking.

"Because, Laufeyson, I did my research. And it turns out that the almighty God of Mischief is nothing but a boy from a poor village of Norway. And, I can see that you lived the good ol' Viking life before you went on the killing spree. So, what happened to the first Lokakona? War and plague and famine took her? A bear ate her while she was pregnant with your first born? Or did you kill her like the others, because she cheated on you after meeting your true nature, you psychopathic monster? Is it a sick game you play, getting revenge on the first one again and again? Because, I don't feel like being another victim of you. The question is, do I kill you right now or do I let you go and disappear again, waiting until you age and die, since you are already aged?" I asked, walking around the chair. He smiled, knowing it's his turn. 

"You forget something, my love. I also did my research," He said, his hands getting free and releasing the rest of his body with a glow of his magic.

I quickly made a field of light, pushing him back. His hands glowed green and the light turned into pitch black liquid, sucking my light into his darkness.

"What is that?" I asked, getting more and more weak.

"Darkforce, don't you recognise it? Oh, you must feel so weak right now… Don't worry, my love, you can sleep. You angered me, so I will not kill you quickly. But you will wish I did," The sick laugh appeared again as fatigue made my eyelids heavy. 

He won.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The work has little canon from the films, I basically do what I want. But it still makes some sense if you squirt your eyes


	3. Captured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hospitality gone wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Violence, Loki has reached his peak cuntness, hate on sex workers, kidnappings, capture, starving, dehydration, biting (trust me, we can infect people by biting them, now you know), cursing, mentions of sex assault and suicide.

I woke up in a dark room, a small lamp on top of my head being the only light. I saw a door with no handle but no windows, and a small toilet. I was underground.

The door opened and I proceeded to slam my kidnapper with a blast of light, but his Darkforce swallowed it and left me panting.

"If you don't want to die of fatigue, you should stop attacking me with Lightforce. I will consume it," Loki's voice said in an imitating tone. He had the upper hand and he knew it.

"You sick bastard," My full of hatred comment made him cast an empty smile, some faint lines popping on the edge of his eyes.

"What? You expected a five star hotel? Maybe some hugs and soft kisses on the forehead? Didn't they teach you how cruel life is?" He mocked. 

I was unchained, so I attacked him physically. He easily grabbed my hand and his green force held every muscle of me.

"Listen well, you little whore, for I will say this once. If you attack me again, I will pull off your limbs and let you starve in these four walls, dying while covered in your own piss and shit." He spat, jaw clenched in anger.

"You lie." I said more to myself than to him.

"You wish I do, darling," The sick smile was still on his face. I relaxed, knowing that I should wait for the right moment before I strike.

"Good whore… You became a whore, didn't you? "Pay me $100 and I am yours tonight," Oh, what we do for survival…" His words hurt like lemons in the wounds, but I hid it under a cold face.

"I would rather a thousand lifetimes as a "whore" than one as a killer," I shot back, his smile widening.

"What do you think you will become after you kill me? A heroine? You hate me for killing my soulmates but you dream about the same act every time you close your eyes. You are funny, the funniest I met. A funny whore," The way he used that name again and again scared me. Did he want to rape me before killing me.

I didn't speak, and it only pleased him more.

"What's the matter, dear? Did the snake bite your tongue?" He chuckled, his cold hand grabbing me by the jaw when I broke eye contact and forcing me to look at him.

"Rule two if you don't want to starve, never break eye contact. I want to see the fear and hate in you," He demanded. I didn't react, I just waited for him to let me.

He did it after a few moments, a bottle of water falling beside me before he left. I waited until I was sure he was not watching before I emptied it.

I needed a plan to get the hell out of here. I can't use Lightforce, not until he's too weak to use Darkforce. So, I will have to weaken him with physical strength. Unexpectedly, while he's vulnerable. I have to wait until I find a hole in the armour to poke. Then I run, or I kill him. Or, I wait for the right moment to take away his new toy, to take my own life. The next one can carry the mission to kill him, if I fail.

But for now, I have to play his game and wait.

~~~

Later, I wish I knew how much time later, the metal door opened again. Loki walked in with a tray of food.

"When did I order and I don't remember it?" I asked, more curious than hateful.

"You need food to stay strong enough for me to feed. Apparently, your Lightforce gives me strength. You are more important alive than dead, make sure to stay like that." He spat. So, that was his plan? To milk me? He left the tray in front of me and sat half a meter away, his eyes pinned on me.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my eyebrows raised.

"Waiting for you to finish your food. You have five minutes to begin eating before I force it in your throat." His voice was still plain and cold, but I didn't buy it.

"You won't," I commented, sure he was lying. Too sure. And like Icarus who floated too high, I got burned and fell.

He grabbed the tray with the rice and held me with his magic as he grabbed me with one strong hand by the jaw.

"Open the hole, whore," He commanded, his fingers squeezing the right place to force my mouth open. His other hand took a spoon and shoved it inside before closing my mouth and nose.

"Swallow or choke," He demanded again. I swallowed only after the lack of air made me dizzy. I then bit his hand.

"Ouch, you bitch!" He yelled, taking the bleeding hand away from me. I didn't answer, preparing my next movement.

"Got anything to say? Like an apology before I let you die in here?" He was furious, I knew it. But I would not be a disciplined sheep.

I opened my mouth only to spit on his face, hitting my aim in the eyes. He raised the non harmed arm, ready to slap me before he lowered it again and chuckled.

"You shouldn't waste your fluids like that," He said before leaving, taking the full tray with him.

I am fucked. 

~~~

Probably three days passed, if I judge on my symptoms.

Peeing was in the past, and so was sweating. I was lost in my mind, trying not to faint. I knew that if I closed my dried eyelids, they would not open again. But their weight was getting more and more.

He didn't lie, he was determined to let me die in here.

My body was too weak to move, not having to piss or shit helped with the embarrassment. I could feel a strong pain in my right, probably my liver screaming at me. But I couldn't do something. I was trapped, abandoned to die.

My eyes finally closed as I let go and gave up, tired of being a human raisin. I was about to dive into nothingness. But something changed.

I felt something liquid on my lips. Water. Sweet water. I drank and drank and drank, I thought I would explode. I stopped only after the source dried out. I then casted my light to heal me, since I was strong enough.

That was a mistake.

I opened my eyes to see Loki grabbing me, an empty bottle on his one hand and the other one covered in darkness as he was feeding with my light.

"Let me heal, at least," I hummed, my voice still too weak.

"You did." He answered shortly.

I sighed, waiting for him to finish before I can heal myself. He soonly let me, the black hand revealing a bandage on the palm, exactly where I bit him.

"Did you learn your lesson?" He asked. I didn't speak. Another mistake.

"Answer when I speak to you!" He yelled, his good hand slamming the wall behind me. But I didn't flinch.

"I can bite you and you need me to fix it. Also, am I still delirious or are you sweating in a cold room?" I listed the information I obtained. He was indeed sweating and he looked paler, weaker. Light-headed, feverish, infected. He bled when I bit, and his mouth was dirty. I infected him. I am still weak. But high chances are that I heal and he worsens. I had my chance to leave. 

He looks annoyed but too tired to argue.

"The lesson is that you don't bite," His voice came out throaty, I noted and nodded. He left me a tray of food and another bottle of water and sat half a meter away. I had to play with his rules, until I am strong enough to escape. 

So, I grabbed the spoon and started eating the soup in silence, not looking up at him as he was watching me. It was a plain and salty thing, probably canned and heated, but my hunger made it taste like heaven. I only stopped when the kidnapper interrupted.

"That doesn't sound good," I commented as Loki was clearing his throat, trying to get his breathing in control after a pretty bad coughing fit. That's why he took my Lightforce, he needed it to heal himself. But it was not enough.

"Mind your own business, whore," He barked, voice still raspy.

"Touche," I basically sang and started eating again, ignoring him completely this time.

After I finished, I pushed the empty tray at him, knowing that he didn't trust me with the spoons and forks. He simply grabbed it and stood up in a smooth move, turning on his heels and leaving before closing the door. I plastered my ear on the door, waiting until his steps vanish before I heal myself completely, drink some more water and fall asleep to gain back my lost energy.

It was the best decision I made in that room.

~~~

I woke up when a hand banged the metal door. I was on my feet when I saw an extremely weak Loki, like I predicted, standing in there.

"Can you cast Lightforce?" His Old Norse accent was so hard I barely understood him. I nodded.

"Do you want to feed or to heal?" I asked, quickly catching up with the situation.

"Healing," He mumbled and laid on my stomach without a warning.

"What will I get in return?" I bargained. We both know who had the upper hand now.

"A week," He answered shortly, and a bad coughing fit stopped him from speaking more.

"Damn… That infection really got into you… I think I should clean up my mouth," I mumbled.

"When?" He asked, mocking me. I could feel how much he was burning against my stomach. 

"My schedule is pretty flexible," I smiled. 

The fever made him slow. I grabbed him by the back of the head and slammed him hard on the toilet. It would not kill him, but the concussion would be awful and the infection would make it worse. I jumped up and ran like my life depended on it. Because it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love, that one person. You are my hero. And I know that Loki is not so supportive to sex workers, but he's from a village, he doesn't know much. And he's a cunt, did I mention that?


	4. The Bus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki returns, but things turn a bit different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: violence, cursing. Loki's not as much of a cunt now!

Just one month passed, again filled with paranoia. I had to gather some stuff from a grocery shop and it was late, I had my hand near a pocket knife in case something happens. I could see the bright lights from the shop when a voice echoed. 

"You bitch," Loki jumped on me and I fell on the ground. He was above me, eyes glowing with rage and a scar on his forehead, a gift from the toilet slam.

"I see you feel better," I smiled. He wasn't in the mood.

"Why didn't you kill me?" He asked, voice full of flaming anger, bombing like a thunder in the empty alley.

"You said it, I can’t hate you for being a murderer and become a murderer myself. So, I will be a pain in your Viking ass," I smiled, making my murderer even more angry.

He proceeded to choke the life out of me, but I was quick enough to distract him with a kick in the groin and a turn. I ended up above him, pain slowly covering his body as the kicked area hurt more and more. 

I had enough time to walk in the store, ask for a way out and run around the alleys until I found my motel room. I quickly gathered my stuff and, in less than half an hour, I was on the bus, waiting for it to start and take me away. I was tired, so I wore my hoodie and tried to relax before the huge vehicle abandoned the town and its movement lures me into sleeping.

My eyes widened when I saw the last passenger getting on board, and the last seat was besides me, near the corridor. I quickly spilled some beer I had with me on me, covered my face completely and laid on the glass, trying to make my breathing sound like a drunk girl sleeping. I listened to Loki’s boots, my ears were now trained on tracking down this sound, as he walked towards the seat besides me and I managed to see his reflection on the dirty glass sitting down. He gave a quick look on me and then laid his head back, his hands taking out a tangled mass of black earphones and putting them on. I had to fight the urge to shift position and lay on him in hope I would listen to the song he was playing. I just wanted to know if serial killers are actually listening to classic music or if it's a myth.

I breathed out and tried to focus on my breaths and the way the bus was slowly moving. I did my best to ignore Loki sitting besides me, but my hand was still on my pocket knife. I could feel my eyes getting heavy as I slowly fell asleep.

~

I couldn't focus on the plot of my dream but it was a pleasant and relaxing one. Before the turn. Then, the constant anxiety and paranoia that was haunting me decided to turn it into a nightmare.

And unfortunately, this came out.

"Shhhh, come on sweetie, don't let it beat you," A soft voice on a Icelandic or Danish accent spoke quietly, almost sleepily. I felt my head being somewhere soft, someone's shoulder or something, and a strong hand was hugging me protectively and drawing soothing circles on my waist.

I almost calmed down, until I remembered who was sitting besides me. Then, fear took over and made my breathing rapid and my heart jump around on its bone prison. And Loki noticed that too.

"Shhhh, Shhhhh, you are safe. It's over, the nightmare is over. You can breathe, just breathe and it will get better, I promise you," He kept soothing me down, probably still not knowing who I am. I tried my best to obey, play along so he would leave me alone. But, I had to admit, his Old Norse accent sounds better than his British.

"That's it, that's it… you are doing great, sweetie." He started praising me for going along. Is that how we would be like if we were normal? He would be kind and caring and protective and sweet with me if he didn't want to kill me? If he wasn't a monster? So, this is what I lost… And I really liked this, I wished I would be like this with him every day, I wished he would be like this with me. I wished he cared about me instead of wanting me dead.

"Hey, are you crying?" He asked, his hand wandering around my face. I could feel my tears washing my face, my hoodie and then his jacket. I dove my face into his shoulder, trying to hide. But I failed.

He softly led my head into looking at him and his hand moved enough of the hoodie to reveal my face. His eyes widened when he saw me, emotions passing through his face. I saw the dark expressions I was used to, but some softer too, making his green eyes glow in empathy instead of anger. Those expressions stayed.

"You can rest tonight, I won't harm you." He finally spoke, his British accent returning. I laid back on his muscled shoulder, he was softer than the window.

"You already did. This is your doing," I answered, my voice cold. I heard him sighing and felt his shoulders rising and falling along. His hand relaxed and fell on the gap between the two pillows of the seat.

"Can I just ask you one question?" I hummed after some moments.

"I guess…" He trailed off, almost tiredly.

"What are you gaining from this? You are not a monster, you can be loving and caring. You can have a normal life, either with me or the soulmates before and after me. Why are you doing this? What is so strong that erases the endless loneliness?" I asked, my head raised and my eyes pinned on his.

I knew that look in his eyes, in his face. He didn't know the answer. He knew it, but he lost the meaning midway and carried on in hope he would find it again. He was lost, trapped.

"Less sentiment," He answered, voice cold and calculated. I breathed out, hiding a laugh.

"You cold bastard," I hummed and closed my eyes. I heard his voice before I fell asleep.

"I guess I am,"

~~~

I woke up when the bus stopped. I felt something pressing me down to my place, it took me a while to realise it was Loki's head. He was using mine as a pillow. I shook him and woke him up, he was sleeping lightly.

"The route ended," I said plainly. Loki stood up and allowed me to walk out, we were the only ones left on the bus and on the station. When we were out of the bus, I looked at him like he was ready to attack.

"You can walk away."

"What?"

"You can walk away and hide. I won't hunt you down for some time." He elaborated, but it didn't help.

"How much time?"

"Until I have an answer to your question." I had to focus to remember what I asked. 

"Less sentiment, you answered it,"

"I didn't answer mine," Those were his last words before he turned around and left, questions running around my mind.

I haven't seen him for a while since that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this a filler? Does it serve the plot? I don't know


	5. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki appears again, but this time things are different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: gambling, violence, death

After the bus, I moved away in a week and covered my trails, hiding once again.

Fall was leaving and winter was slow approaching, the cold and the rains were letting me know of that. Almost two months have passed since I saw Loki, or since he let me go on that station, and he didn’t look like showing up anything soon.

I was, once again, mistaken.

I walked into my motel room, after a long night of getting money, my not-so-moral techniques are still going on. It was raining buckets, so I expected wet footprints. Just, not from a foot bigger than mine.

I grabbed my pocket knife and walked quietly around the room, waiting for a bugler to be here or for my room being empty.

"Please, I mean no harm," I found a wet and dirty Loki sitting on a chair near my bed and quivering like a leaf. My logic asked me to run or knock him down and run, but I dropped the knife and ran towards him.

"Are you okay? Are you sick? Gosh, you must be freezing…" I was talking more to myself than to him as I took off his soaking wet coat and guided him to the bed before I took off his shoes and covered him with a thick blanket.

"Thank you…" He hummed, smiling weakly at me. I smiled back and cupped his face for a second before I stood up again.

"Do you want something warm to drink? It will make you feel better," I suggested. I didn’t have much, so I just hoped for the best.

"Just a coffee, black, if you can," He mumbled the answer, his lower lip trembling from the cold. I nodded moments later, I was sitting besides Loki as the coffee machine was making two coffees.

"What happened to you?" I asked, looking at him. Loki sniffed slightly and turned to me.

"I ran short on cash, so I had to go live with a group of homeless people, a town over. They stole my things, everything but the clothes I was wearing. I got mad, and I accidentally blasted one, he died. They kicked me out, as they should have done after this. It almost took me a week, but I found you and I hoped you could help. I... I have nowhere else to go." He explained, slowly adjusting to the warmth of the room, I opened the thermostat as I was making coffee. Of course I understood the whole "stolen" part, but something didn't fit right.

"What do you mean accidentally blasted? Doesn't seiðr require very hard focus and dedication to cast, especially blast someone to death?" I asked, handing over the warm coffee. Loki seemed to use it more to warm his hands than drink it.

"Yes… But I lost control of my anger, and it was enough to do the damage…" He hummed, something I think I identified as shame forced him to look down to his hands. "I haven't lost control in eons, and I killed someone for stealing some old hoodies," His voice got weaker, like he was holding back tears. My hand automatically touched his shoulder and stayed there as a way to provide comfort.

What am I doing? This man tries to kill me for the last year, and I just sit here and hand him over coffee and comfort him? Have I lost the last piece of common sense I had left? I should be running away right now, but no, I had to be emotional. Maybe it's the bond that ties us together that forces me to show this compassion, like he did on the bus.

I didn’t say something, I just stayed there and held him, until his breathing stabilized and he took a sip of the warm coffee. Then, I let go of my hand and moved away a bit, but enough of him to notice.

"Don't worry. I won't attempt to attack until I have the answer, remember? And, I am here because I need your help, It would be stupid of me to kill you," He sounded almost… tired. My head nodded without thinking, but I didn’t get closer. He took another slow sip, trying to ignore a new wave of quivering that was overflowing his thin body.

He didn’t look like he was lying. He was always covered in clothes but he looked thinner and the fabric seemed loose on him. His face also lost some mass, making his cheekbones sharper, and the dark circles on his eyes made the green on them glow. Yes, he looked tired and hungry and cold, and yes, he was a serial killer who was trying to kill me for the sake of immortality, but he still was beautiful.

"I… I think I can buy some clothes from Target or something, you can take a bath," I spoke after some time. Loki blinked at me for a second. Then, he lifted his jacket and proceeded to smell test himself. He quickly made a face and groan of pure disgust.

"Good plan…" He snapped and stood up, leaving the cup on the small table near him. He stormed in the first door he found, which was a helping room or something, but it only had mops and shit.

"Wrong door," He got out and stormed in the other door, which was the bathroom. I let my lips snap a smile. How did I let this idiot terrorise me?

The Target shop was nearby and I easily bought some precooked meals and other things, because the motel barely had a pot and a pan for cooking. I kinda forgot what size Loki is but I chose to play it safely and just pick medium size in everything. Except for the socks, he obviously had too big feet, and he had too big hands for a medium size boxer. And I might have bought a pink fluffy hoodie just to mess with him.

By the time I was back, Loki was already over with the shower and drying himself. I didn't make a noise, I just sat and watched him. Damn, he looked so at ease. You couldn't guess he's a thousand years old serial killer. I sighed, breaking the silence and making him turn to face me.

"Didn't see you there," He hummed, quite relaxed. I fought back a smile and left the bag beside him. He opened it and took the clothes out, examining them.

"They seem okay, thank you," I smiled at his comment, trying to push away the thoughts from the bus. Loki gave me a weird look for some moments but he then walked back in the bathroom to get dressed.

Why did I have to lose all these? Why did we have to lose all these? He is not an emotionless monster, why act like one? Why did I have to become so cold and fight back? We can act like normal human beings, why did we have to turn into beasts?

"Hey, what is it?" I felt Loki sitting beside me. He sounded weird, soft. Not anger, not curses. He just cared enough to ask. I sighed and turned to face him.

He did wear the pink hoodie, his hair falling messily all around instead of being tidied back. And I felt his palm cupping my knee. But it was not violent, hurtful. It was comforting.

"Why? We can have a normal relationship, friendship at least. Why do we have to chase each other's tails? I am tired of this, I really am. I just want a normal and peaceful life. Is it too much to ask?" I held back my tears. He didn't have any ill intentions, I knew it. But I still didn't want him to view me as weak. No matter I lost my strength.

He made a deep sigh and made me look straight into his eyes. I just noticed the flecks of gray and blue in them, and the humidity that was threatening him to storm out.

"This is just how things are… what the Norns chose for us…" He hummed, his hand moving to my shoulder. I failed to hold a bitter chuckle.

I hated this belief. I had no problem with religions, even though I am an atheist. But I hated the concept of fate, no matter how you name it. Everything around me was saying how life is just a random sequence of atoms slamming each other, no bigger picture and big plan behind it, just possibilities and chances. And only choices help us move within this chaos.

"Bullshit…" I mumbled, more to myself than to him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"There is no Norns, Fates, Destiny, God's plan, whatever you name it. It doesn't exist. It's what people do to put their blame elsewhere. But the blame is on us. Our fate is on us. Everything exists because of luck, because of chances. And we choose what to do with those chances. That's what controls the world. Chances and choices, not Fate." I faced him, holding myself together. He just hummed along and moved his head slightly.

"Nice belief, but I'll have to disagree." He spoke as lowly as before. I breathed down and looked at my hands. I saw a big pale hand holding mine and stopping them from picking each other.

"Cold," I hummed, and Loki made a soft sound. It was a chuckle, a real one. Shit, it was so sweet.

"Not only my soul is cold," I looked at his eyes after he spoke. He was obviously lying to himself. I just sighed, still staring at him.

"What happened to you?"

He quickly drew his hand away and broke eye contact by looking down. I had crossed a line.

"I am tired," He mumbled, almost shamefully.

"You can lay and sleep. I can't force you to stay up," I shrugged, following his change of subject. He nodded and did exactly that. He laid on the bed, above the covers, and closed his eyelids. I was actually tired too, and the coffee stopped having an affect on me a long time ago. So, I kicked my boots out of my feet and laid beside him on the double bed I had, this time hiding under the sheets.

"What are you doing?" He glared at me with one eye, the other one hidden in the pillow.

"I am dancing," I sassed and turned away from him, my face covered with the sheets. I heard him sighing. I ignored it.

Then, he started turning around like he was wrestling with the pillow, reaching a new level of annoyance.

"What is it?" I turned and glared at him, convinced I won't sleep tonight.

"The bed is too comfortable." He hummed, what I would name shame hovering above him. I sighed, anger and sympathy fighting inside me.

"Can I do something?" I decided to help, since it would make us sleep easier. His face darkened quickly.

"No, you just do it out of pity." He spat and turned around, this time staying still. I sighed and did the same. I would fall asleep if he didn't start sniffing like crazy.

Okay, I was getting it. The motel was extremely humid and not even the thermostat could warm it up enough to make it habitable. Literally half an hour in here was enough to make my bones ache like I suddenly aged fifty years.

Since he didn't seem to want it, I had seized the sheets. But I released a part and covered him, ignoring the angry glares.

"I said I don't want your pity. I use enough of it already," He growled and uncovered himself. This time, I insisted.

"It's not pity. Just cover yourself, you'll get a cold," I argued and covered him again. He just raised his eyebrows.

"Is this actual sympathy or you don't want to deal with a sick serial killer?" 

"Kinda both," I grinned as I answered. He sighed and turned around after he covered himself. The sniffing continued until it upgraded into a sneezing fit. And he was right, the last thing I wanted to do is deal with a sick serial killer.

"Come here," I turned him around so I could face him, ignoring the angry groans. I hovered my hand softly above his head but moved it away when I saw him flinching. Instead, I held his hand and took a deep breath, releasing my light into him and watching as his breathing evened out.

"Thank you," He hummed weakly, still not accepting this completely. Was I the first one to act like that? I just smiled and kicked away this thought, holding his hand and playing with it. I noticed a weird texture on his palm. I looked at it only to see a biting scar.

"Proud?" He asked, looking at me for a reaction. Pride was the last thing I was feeling. Guilt was stronger.

I sighed deeply and looked away, trying to hide the tears and sobs that crept out.

He didn't try to soothe me down, he just froze and watched as I held my breath and blinked away my tears, slowly gathering myself.

Loki hummed something, probably in Old Norse, and started staring at the ceiling. I was too tired to even ask, so I ignored him and fell asleep as fast as possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a filler, but there are only eight of them so... Here it is


	6. the story behind the beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And this is how the walls break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Christians, violence, plauge, cursing. Get some tissues for this one. And drink water. Also, Loki's cunt-o-meter is getting lower.

When I woke up, not many hours after, Loki was awake and still staring. Did he even move? Probably not.

"Were you up all night?" I hid a yawn as I asked. Loki nodded a yes, still not moving. I sighed and got up, my stomach asking for muffins.

"I'm gonna get some breakfast, do you want something?" I looked at him as I put on my boots and checked at the cash I had. I had to get some money later today, but they were enough for breakfast. He made a tutting sound of no. I hummed an ok and left, deciding to let him on his thoughts.

~~~

"What is that?"

He got out of his bubble when I threw a paper bag of muffins in his stomach.

"Muffins. It only had raisins," I shrugged. He took out one and sniffed it before putting it back and leaving the bag beside him.

"What?" I eyed him. I guess that he's a killer but everyone likes muffins, even if they are with raisins.

"Lactose intolerant, can't eat them," I made an oh sound on this information. He didn't consider this as a poisoning attempt, did he?

"Anyway," I swallowed a bite and left my bag aside. It was kind of a dick move to eat in front of him. "What were you thinking about?" I asked, my eyes pinned on him.

"The answer," He said plainly. I swallowed thickly. Would he attack after he had it?

"Did you… did you get closer?" I tried to hide my anxiety.

"I think I have it," He sat back. Relaxed. He was probably about to murder me and he was relaxed. I felt my heart beating faster.

"And… What is it?" I basically stuttered, panic creeping out.

"It's a big answer," He tried to avoid it. It was about my safety, my life. I deserved to know if he would kill me.

"I have all day," I crossed my hands, holding myself from panicking.

"So… I was not always like that. Once, I was just a farmer's boy in a small village in Norway. And it was a simple life. Some farming, more hunting, even more raiding… Nice and simple and I liked it, even if it was hard and boring.

"And, my seiðr helped. I was well respected since I was a baby, I was considered a gift from the Gods. But, I had a big brother and he stopped all this from making me a narcissistic dick." I scoffed a bit.

"Got some bad news for you," 

"Shut up," He spat and cleared his throat.

"So… I was in a raid, basically a massacre. A man had me on the ground, too weak to fight back and with a sword about to slit my throat. And he got sliced in half by an axe. And behind him was a woman. She looked like you, you are almost a clone of her. She was with her armour and bloody and dirty, I didn't look better, but she was just stunning in my eyes. We fought together for the rest of the raid, and claimed each other on the boat home. She was from the village next to mine, a friendly one." His eyes got dreamy just by talking about that woman. I guessed she was the first soulmate.

"Her name?"

"Sigyn. Like in the mythos. We found out we were soulmates, we married and we had twins, Narfi and Vali. Good boys, but impossible to keep them out of trouble. But we were a happy family." His nostalgic look didn't change when he talked about the boys. I smiled at him, it was good to know he knew love.

"But, the Christians came. They thought of us as barbarians and Pagans for believing in the Tradition. I saw some men and women I knew getting burnt in the stake for believing in the Gods. It was frightening, but we were the wildlings." His nostalgic smile faded and got replaced with disgust. I completely understood it.

"They came to me and made me an offer. I had to abandon my belief in the Tradition and get baptized and me and my family would live. The boys were still babies and Sigyn was weak from the birth, I couldn't risk moving away or denying. And I agreed. I stopped the raids, became a hunter and they named me Luke. Hel, I was even going to the church every Sunday… But I still raised my boys as my father raised me, I didn't want them to change into this, just because I had to pretend to be a changed man." His disgust grew bigger. I nodded and waited for him to finish.

"I had to hide my magic to protect myself and my family, practising my belief and my power in secret. I hated hiding, especially since I was used to being proud of who I am. But I had no choice.

"Some more Christians came and brought this terrible disease, smallpox. I got sick, very sick. The best doctors, Norse and Christians, told me the same thing. "Pray for a fast death," I told Sigyn to take the kids, they were six, and go to her mother's house. I didn't want them to get sick or see me dying so terribly. And, when they left me alone and I gathered all the strength I had left, I healed me, with magic. They called it a miracle. And my family returned."

"Someone spoke of magic. Of a green light coming out of the hut as I healed. They suspected Sigyn and she was arrested for witchcraft. She didn't tell them I was the witch, and she died in the stake, along with my kids. I had to watch it. They forced me to watch my family burn…" His voice broke and tears fell from his eyes. I moved closer and grabbed his shoulder, making him turn to face me and wipe them away. Then, something odd lit up in his eyes.

"I was mad with anger after this. Since they came, I did everything I could to protect them. Everything. And they murdered them. I took Sigyn's axe and slayed the old bitch who accused her. Then, I fueled my magic with rage and burnt down the village. I didn't care if it was Christians or my own people, they were all traitors, all killers. They took my life away from me, and I did the same. The villages around saw the green flames. They said it was the wrath of a powerful God. Some knew I was a witch. So, they created the God Loki. I didn't give a shit about being a God, but I didn't say anything." His eyes glowed for a moment as he spoke, his whole body tight with the memory. The lamp near us broke, I didn't need to wonder why. He breathed down and managed to collect himself before he went on.

"After this, I was easy on losing control because of my anger. I even killed my next soulmate because of this, in an accident. I don't even remember what happened, I only remember the anger. People grew scared of me, I was a monster. I couldn't live there anymore. I started wandering around Europe, and soon, around the Earth. It took me a lot of time to take control again, but I did. And, my soulmates were different. They didn't look like her, or they reminded me of her. They were bringing back the pain, the anger, the sentiment. Once, I was sharing a bed with one and I remembered the smell of my family. I ran to the bathroom and cried so hard I vomited. I couldn't live with soulmates anymore, so I was getting rid of them, of the sentiment. And the killing began." He was still whimpering, fighting back his tears. I cupped his head and moved my hand along his hair, hoping he would be soothed down.

"It had become a habit. And easy. I needed ten minutes to get done with the next one and then I was free again. And I was easy on finding them. They reminded me of that smell. But, you were different. You had your magic, like me, and you fought back. I used to hate you for that, but now I admire you. And, everyone had small traits of Sigyn, enough to bring back the memories, the smell. You have traits of all three of them, but you don't bring back the smell. Just the feeling of family… I hated you for that too, it was foreign to me. But you made it familiar, with your kindness last night…" He held himself longer, but I started tearing up. He moved his cold hand and wiped them away, a soft smile on his face.

"And, I started thinking. I didn't sleep, because of the thoughts. Killing will never bring my family back, it will only make them disappointed. And you made me realize that, with your questions. I gain nothing from murdering, I only lose them. And I have to go back to them, I don't belong in this era. I belong with the dead, with my family. I was turned into a corpse that made more corpses just to prove itself that it's still alive. So, I won't hunt you down again. I will leave. I will let you live your life, with someone you deserve to. I will go back home and wait until I can go with my family again. I will let the Norns guide me to them," His voice was breaking, he was barely holding himself together now.

"This is it? Good-bye?" I cried out, unable to stop my tears. He nodded a yes, then he hugged me.

"I just want you to know that I thank you. I thank you so much for bringing light to my way, for helping me out. I owe you so much, my dear. So much… I will see them again because of you, I am alive again because of you." He let himself cry, his hands tangled around me and his face hiding in my shoulder. I weeped too, holding him tight.

I lost track of how long we stayed like this. But he let go, let me wipe away his tears and smiled at me before he blew a kiss on my forehead. 

"Promise me to keep contact," I smiled. He grinned and nodded.

"Thank you, my love," He whispered. I cried again and he wiped it away, shushing the pain away.

He agreed on getting some breakfast before he left. And that was the last goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mythology and Marvel canon? What is that thing? And Loki was obviously a good dad, people were just mean because it was the tenth century. And yes, I felt the angst pain in the guts as I wrote this. I am not sorry.


	7. Life After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The running is over. But the feelings just started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: cursing, mentions of PTSD. And now, Loki's finally a teddy bear! No more cuntness!

A few months passed. I had my life back.

I changed my name one last time, I found a job and a house and I had friends. I even got laid a few times. But I was still empty. 

My therapist talked about PTSD but I didn't hate or fear my time on the run. I missed it. I knew it was terrible and traumatic and caused me a lot of paranoia and anxiety but, for some fucking reason, I missed it. The thrill, the adventure, I missed it. I don't know what kind of masochism this is, but I am guilty as hell. 

Loki just sent me one letter. Because he could track me down by the air I breathe but not find a fucking phone number, my Facebook at least. No, he had to send a letter! Written by those pens with the feather. Because aesthetic or something. I don't even know at this point.

But, I was growing more and more bored with my life, so I slowly stopped going to my therapist because she wasn't helping. I stopped talking with so many friends, they were boring, and I returned to my antisocial and miserable life.

And then, it hit me.

I had the assholes address. It was in Norwegian, but I had it. Why not pay him an Armenian visit?

So, I gathered everything I had, downloaded Duolingo because I needed to know the language, bought some tickets to the closest town with an airport, because Loki lived in a village forgotten by God's secretary, and left the retail working and pointless clubbing. I survived the iced road, I had to rent a car because buses didn't go there, managed to talk with a very helpful old woman who knew English (thank you, Duolingo) and ended up searching for a cabin in the middle of a frozen forest. In Norway. 

I was sure I saw a bear, but nothing ate me.

I found the cabin (OMG, it looked like it came out of a Disney and a Tim Burton movie, dude knows how to decorate!) and knocked on the door, waiting in the cold for an answer.

When Loki opened it, his eyes got so big when he saw me I swear he turned into an anime. And he looked quite good, to be honest.

I grinned and lifted a paper bag. "Muffins with blueberries, lactose free," I announced. He just stood there and stared at me like I am a ghost. "Don't give that look, do you know how much these cost?" I raised my eyebrow. This country is super expensive.

"Eh…. C-come in," He stuttered, obviously still not understanding what the hell is going on. I smiled and walked in, taking my full of mud shoes off when I saw the carpet.

"It's so cold in here, how do you survive?" I rubbed my freezing hands together and sat as close to the lit fireplace as possible.

"You get used to it. Did you just cross the Atlantic Ocean to talk about the weather?" He raised his voice at the question. His Norse accent was stronger than usual, he probably didn't speak so much English since he came here. But he looked much better. He was obviously more muscled, I guess it was a side effect of being a half hermit in the woods, and he had gained some weight in and looked less like a heroin junky. He just became healthier and it suited him so much…

"And to bring you muffins. You didn't eat the raisin ones." I smiled, giving him the bag. He opened it and inspected a muffin before putting it back. "Tusen takk— _Thank you very much_ ," He hummed naturally and placed them on a nearby table. 

His eyes grew bigger when he realised he spoke Norwegian, his face turning red. "Shit, sorry, I meant…" He started rumbling.

"Vær så god— _you're welcome_ ," I smiled and watched him as he calmed down a bit.

"Ok. You flew all the way here to talk about the weather and bring me muffins?" He repeated the question, his eyebrow raised. My smile faded as I tried to form sentences.

"Actually, I kinda missed you. And I thought a visit would be good…" I pretended to be calm. He made a humming sound, his green eyes pinned on me. I had forgotten how beautiful his eyes are.

"Well, I can't say the feeling is not mutual," He started picking his left hand. I just noticed that he had this nervous pick. "And, it is kind of lonely without you," He added, his ears getting a shade of pink. He looked so cute when blushing.

"Yes, I know the feeling…" I hummed as well, the green fire catching my eye. He used his magic to light it up, it was probably more easy to control.

"You can stay here until the winter is over. I can find enough food for both of us, and there are storms coming. You will be trapped in the village," He suggested. I nodded, the idea seemed quite good and I could get used living with him.

He smiled and got up, walking to another room. I stayed and watched the flames, too distracted by their green light to care. I felt someone poking me and I jumped up, a light sword casted in my hand.

"Woah, relax. I just made some hot cocoa," Loki lifted his hands in surrender, two cups floating in the air. I sighed and made the light vanish, shamefully sitting down after I took the cup.

"I am sorry, I just get a little jumpy," I hummed. No matter how hard I tried, I never stopped doing it, and it was even before Loki.

"It's okay," He smiled softly. He looked so calm, almost nothing like the man I knew. He was just soft and relaxed and he looked like his anger had melted away, no hatred in his eyes.

"You know, this life suits you so much…" I commented. He pretended to nod along but I saw how red his cheeks turned. "I am serious, you look much healthier now," I continued, causing a small chuckle.

"Thank you," He cleared his throat as a way to collect himself. I smiled and took a sip of the cocoa. Holy shit, this was so good, even though it was obviously made with water. He laughed when he saw how big my eyes turned. His laugh was so beautiful.

I whined and laid on his strong shoulder, lifting my feet on the couch and getting comfy. He giggled again, his hand around me.

"I don't feel quite ready for a relationship, I still have the smell," He spoke softly, shamefully.

"How about a friend? I can make sure you don't turn into a cranky old man and scare the boys," I tried to cheer him up. His small scoff proofed me successful.

"I am already a cranky old man, I just look like I'm thirty," He smiled evilly at me.

"Imagine how you will be when you actually get old. You need my dumbass energy to counter your sourness." I pointed my finger at him.

"I guess I do…" He trailed off, his eyes watching the fire. I smiled and played with his curly hair as he was lost in the fire. He was so beautiful, just by sitting there.

I could stay here for the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's just some fluffy addition. And I kinda copied Sherlock on the reader's motives that made her go to Norway.  
> 


	8. Valhalla, I am coming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lo, there do I see my father  
> Lo, there do I see my mother  
> Lo, there do I see my brother  
> Lo, there do I see my people back to the beginning  
> And Lo, they do call to me  
> And bid me take my place amongst them  
> In the halls of Valhalla  
> Where the brave shall live forever  
> Nor shall we mourn but rejoice  
> For those that have died the glorious death  
> \- Norse Viking prayer, circa 5 B.C.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: nothing. You made it here, just enjoy  
> 

My visit to Loki's cabin lasted decades.

I started helping him with the chores inside the house and he did the labor outside. We were still two petty assholes who could fight about everything but we didn't mind.

He never laid a hand on me and I did the same. He wanted me as a friend, as a companion. The feeling was mutual.

Things were getting harder as we aged. The coldness started messing with my body, the lack of sun and proper sleep made it worse. As he aged, Loki's magic got weaker and his physical strength followed. It didn't take long for us to resign to the closest nursing home when we decided that we couldn't live independently anymore. Loki hated the fact that he had to be taken care of, but my decreasing health forced him to agree. 

Now, I was in my late eighties, Loki was about to hit triple digits (because guess who's Gods' favourite). Breathing was hard for me, and Loki's heart was slowly giving up on him.

But, he still aged well. Yes, the long black hair turned white, his skin stopped being as smooth and his once green eyes were now gray, but he was still as beautiful, even aged. And he never failed to remind me that I was beautiful as well.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, his voice still smooth even if it got lower. I sighed from underneath the sheets. The cold made my body ache. I knew I wouldn't survive this winter, and it wasn't even Loki's birthday yet.

"Terrible, as I have been feeling for the last two weeks…" I whined, karma forcing another coughing fit in me. He brought me a glass of water, I took it carefully and pulled it on my lips. He smiled at this, he was feeding me for the last days, I was too weak to do it myself.

He laid down on the double bed with a sigh, his hand on his chest. He was good at hiding it, but I could see how he was getting weaker. But he didn't complain, not once.

"Loki…" I spoke weakly. He turned around, his gray eyes on me.

"I think we will meet your family soon," My voice was barely audible on the last words, I was too weak to even cough. He smiled, his wrinkles getting highlighted.

"You are part of my family. You stayed with me…" He didn't sound better than me. I gathered all my strength to move and lie on his shoulder. Like I used to when his homesickness was getting stronger, or when a thunderstorm was causing him to panic. He leaned and kissed me on the lips, for the first and the last time.

Then, he turned to the sky, his eyes closed and a smile still on his face as he spoke his last words.

"Valhalla, við erum að koma— _Valhalla, we are coming_ ,"

~~~

My body stopped hurting. I took a few deep breaths, remembering how refreshing it is.

I looked around. I was in a forest. It was night-time but with no bears. Just a fog stopping me from seeing far. 

A strong hand held me. It was Loki's. I turned to look at him. He was in his late twenties again. And he wore an armour. Black and green and some gold. And old, Vikings armour.

"You are young again," I commented. He turned around. His green eyes were like the ones I loved.

"I can say the same for you," He smiled. His voice was still the same.

A woman walked closer, wearing clothes from the eighties but she looked quite like me. She slapped Loki and left.

A man, dressed with an old costume, again looking like me and the woman, punched Loki. He had some blood on his teeth but it healed.

We were in Hel. And Loki was going through his previous soulmates. His victims.

Men and women, all sharing some traits with me, were appearing, beating and/or cursing Loki and leaving. Clothes were getting older and older, and he lowered his head with shame somewhere in the mid 19th century.

I lost count on how many people came, but Loki was on the verge of collapse. But a boyish voice was enough to make him look up.

"Pabbi!— _dad!_ " A small boy, around six, ran towards us and hugged Loki's feet. He had the same hair with me, but his eyes were glowing green, like his father's.

"Narfi, strákurinn minn!— _Narfi, my son!_ " Loki fell on his knees and hugged Narfi. A second boy, almost identical to Narfi, ran into the hug. Loki couldn't stop smiling and crying, holding the boys as close as he could.

Steps echoed and I looked at the woman. She was like the others, but so different. She had the same hair with me, with her boys, and so kind eyes. And a warrior's body underneath the dark green gown. She was beautiful.

"Þú komst að lokum,— _You finally came_ " Her voice was patient, kind. She wasn't angry at Loki's delay. She was glad he was here. And I understood Every word she spoke, even though she didn't speak English.

"Ó, stjörnur mín!— _oh, my star_ " Loki cried out, standing up to dive in her hug. And he cried. He cried harder than anyone I have ever seen. "Mér þykir leitt. Ég er svo leitt. Ég ætti að hafa verndað þig. Ég ætti að hafa haldið þér öruggum.— _I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have protected you. I should have kept you safe_ " He apologized, weeping in Sigyn's shoulder. She held him tight and drew circles on his back with her hand, shushing him down.

"You are here now. That's all that matters, sólin mín— _my sun_." She spoke English now. I guess the forest made me understand her completely. Loki sniffed against her shoulder and let her go to face her. Then, he smiled. And then, she kissed him.

"Mamma, Pabbi, who's that woman?" The second boy, Vali asked and pointed at me. Loki let go of his wife and kneeled again.

"She's a friend. She brought me here," Loki explained, smiling at me. Narfi hugged my foot.

"Thank you for giving us Paddi, pretty lady," He whispered against my leg. I smiled and leaned to pet his hair. He was so cute, like his father.

"Yes, thank you. I was sure this idiot would survive to see Ragnarok if it wasn't for you," Sigyn laughed.

"Not cursing in front of the kids!" Loki growled, standing up but still holding Vali.

"Loki, the kids are a thousand years old." She signed. Loki made an oh sound, looking at his sons laughing at him.

"I am very happy I reunited the family… But I think I should go now…" I hummed and took a step back. Loki gave me the puppy eyes.

"You are family, remember?" He argued.

I smiled. I guess I am family

~~~The End~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the end is a bit bittersweet, but I liked it. Thank you for all the love you have given to this work, I appreciate every single one of you.💚


End file.
